These Ways

These ways,
These things going on in my life,
My mind,
Going crazy,
Trying to discern Your Will from mine.

My mind,
Lost in worldly vices,
Worldly thought,
Must be cause I feel myself far from You.

Your Will,
You Way,
Is what I want,
Is what I seek,
Or at least that’s what I say.

Memories of the past, the last times I let You down, times I played around but also remembering those times I stuck around, my feet firm on the ground.

At those times, in those ways I was not moved, could not be moved for You held me firm, it was You who gave me strength.

These way,
These days I feel myself being broken,
My Will falling down,
You Will coming up,
Rising above as I seek You,
As I begin to see You, see myself.

A ministry I thought was true now vaguely seems Your Will, a girl, a young lady of God I thought to date, saying she didn’t feel the same, when I thought it was You. Perhaps it was, perhaps it all was a lesson, something to learn, something to teach.

These ways forcing me to be less of me,
And more of You.
To know my God,
That it’s not about my wants,
Or what I feel I need,
But what You tell me I need,
What You tell me to do.

To rip my Will from Yours and throw it away.
To give up self,
All of me,
Everything for One,
The Son, who bled,
Who took on sin for me.

That is these ways, each and every day, not my Will, but They Will be done. That You would break me and build me up stronger after this, that I would shine, be a light of Your goodness, Your Holiness. That others would see You in me, flowing through me. Not so that I may gain fame, or acclaim, but that Your glory would be shown, and known. That Your ways would truly be on earth as it is in heaven, so that they may know you, the One True God, the only One who can help humanity from itself, who can fill the void that exists, who can give us life better than this.

If we will only admit,
Commit,
Only understand, reach out our hands,
Trust in You,
The Lord,
The One and Only God,
Who holds,
Who is and will be the Truth!

-By: Daniel Brockhan

These Thoughts

Wondering what could have been,
What might have been,
Yet I stop myself,
Knowing it will never be,
If she does not like me.

Wondering if something is,
Or was wrong with me,
If it was me or she,
Wondering why I never got a chance,
Wondering while I remain alone, 
While others get the chance.

I took the chance of asking,
And found things changed.
How things used to be they are no more,
The door that seemed open,
Now shut forevermore.

These thoughts flow through my brain,
Questions come and go,
Day by day.

Having trouble getting her out of my mind,
Yet trying to maintain a friendship that is divine.
A friendship of a sister in Christ,
That’s so important to me,
But a hurt,
An aching from the thought of what will never be.

I took a step on the limb,
I prayed to You,
Trying to seek Your face God,
So why,
I ask why did it turn out this way?
Was it my plan and my will and never Yours,
Or somehow was it messed up,
By something of this world?

The thoughts of what could have been and never will be…
And I wonder is there God,
Anyone out there for me?

Will there ever be a girl to fill my heart,
Because sometimes I wonder,
If I will ever be liked at all. 

To hear I possess all the quality a young lady requests,
But then none give a second thought when pressed.

Will there ever be a girl who sees my heart,
Who sees a love for You Lord,
A passion that won’t die?

Before I never wondered,
Before I didn’t care,
But I wonder if there is someone for me out there!

Is there one woman who will see my heart,
Who will see me for who I am and feel for me as I feel for her?

I cry out to You because I know your there,
Lord,
I just don’t want to be alone down here.
I love You so much and I want a person to share,
All the wonderful times,
And stories of You.
And Your Glory.

Is there someone for me,
If so who,
Cause right now I feel alone…

But I know You will get me through!

-By: Daniel Brockhan

My One And Only

My One and Only I have not made You,
My self I try to push away, I struggle to put to death.

What is Your will?
What is mine?

How do I know if I am doing Your Will,
When I know my eyes are blinded by my flesh.

I yearn to know You more,
To be Your vessel,
To let you speak through me,
But I know for that to be that I must let go,
I must lay myself down,
I must break down myself,
My wants,
My desires,
All the things I long for,
All the things I long to be are nothing without You.

I could have a high paying job,
The most beautiful girl,
The most popular friends,
I could gain the respect of millions,
I could gain all the laughter,
All the fun,
Yet without You it is nothing,
Life is empty.

As much as I struggle and hurt,
To do Your Will,
I know I cannot return,
I cannot deny who You are and who I am.

My place is under You,
Under Your direction.

You long for me to be a godly man,
A holy man,
Yet not for my glory but for Yours.

For as much as I long for the things of life,
I stop myself because they are my ideas,
they are my plans.

I am tired of doing things my way,
My way never helps me,
You know that,
But Your way never fails me.

Whether Your way causes me blessings,
Or a struggle,
It is far better than my own…

-By: Daniel Brockhan