The Second Clash

I clashed with God before,
Then my clash was lust,
Lust was what then kept me from God,
Lust was then what kept me from moving foreword,
After a time God cleansed me of Lust,
Not that it’s completely gone forever,
But that as I draw toward God,
It Fades in His Light,
I Cant Keep an Impure Mind,
In the presence of a Pure and Holy God.

Now my clash is with my self,
Once again I guess I am here,
I am at a turning point,
A place of choice,
A place of no return,
Except back to who I was,
And that person is who I no longer desire to be.

Now I Clash with Being Bold,
With speaking out,
With going against the Tide,
Instead of being swept away by it,
To be different when all I see around me is conformity.

Where are the radicals?
Where are the people so overwhelmed by God’s Love,
That they cannot take a second to think about another thing,
Another person can no longer penetrate past there Saviors Face
They cannot see the world but through the eyes of the Spirit,
Through the very eyes of God, things are made clear in a world that is so hazy.

Where is the Produce?
Where is the Fruit?
Where is the Action?
Where is the Spirit?
Where is God in our lives?
Is He just a label we put on,
Or does He penetrate our very being?

Does He pierce us everyday as we wake,
As we work, as we play?
Does the God who created us get top priority,
Or do we give him second over other desires,
Needs,
And wants?

I clash with myself because God is calling me,
He is telling me ever so subtly,
That who I am is not good enough.

That I cannot Glorify Him as I need without letting go,
That unless I let go of myself,
My wants,
My fears,
My questions,
My answer,
Even my very prayers,
He cannot truly do his best through this vessel.
Unless I am, clean and pure,
Unless I am Holy and Blameless,
Unless I choose to let go of myself,
And let His Spirit take control,
I will still be in control of my life instead of Him,
Unless I let go I will miss out on what God can do through me.

God cannot work through a dirty vessel,
God cannot work through a vessel,
that won’t let God overflow in his Life,
God cannot work in a life that will not let God have control!

God cannot work through me unless I let go,
Unless I am Pure and willing to follow Him,
To follow Him anywhere.

To follow him through the good and bad,
Through the depths and heights,
Through the mountain Tops and Valleys,
Through the Light and Darkness,
Through the Tides,
And Storms that life brings as well as the Morning sunlight,
The Beautiful Raindrops,
The Rainbows and Gentle breezes.

For through every situation God stays the same,
God is in Control and is with us,
God is there for us as our friend,
God is our Faithful Provider,
God is unchanging and forever!

-By: Daniel Brockhan

Questions

Where is my Joy? Where is my Peace? Where is my love that flows from You? Where are my wants? Where are my needs? Where are my desires? Are they connected to a passion for myself or a passion for You Lord? Why am I here? Who am I and who do you want me to become? Who is my friend and who do I have to lay aside? Who can help me through all these troubles in life but You Lord? Who can take a person like me and transform my piece by piece? Who but You can shine Your Light through me, so that a fallen humanity, so that fellow friends may be exhorted, corrected, rebuked, and fellowship-ed with? Who above all is faithful? Who but You Lord? Who but You?

For when I am weary, You are there! For when I am laughing, You are there. Whether or not I acknowledge Your presence at any time, in any place, You are there Lord. When I lift my eyes, heart, or hands in worship Your are there. When I deny Your name or deny the conviction of Your Spirit, You are There. When I have all the answers, You are there to give me questions. When I have all the questions, You are my answer. You keep me sane in a world that is drastically different from me or that I am called to be drastically different from.

Am I different Lord? Do people see Your Light in me, through me, or do they just see another good person? For none is good but God, for I am not good unless I am letting Your Light shine through, unless I am letting Your Holy Spirit take control. What work do you have for me Lord? What do you want from me Lord?

For find myself wanting to serve but have no idea where. For I want to stand up, I want to be different but have not the clue of where to go next. It seems as if the doors are closing.

What should I do next? Where should I do form here, from this point in my life? What relationship for me is next? Who are you preparing for me? Who are You preparing me for? Who will be my friend through this life in sickness or health, in life until we die, so help me God? Who is going to be with me after these few years Lord? Who is going to be there through my griefs and fears, through tears and joy, happiness and hope? Who is going to help me glorify You with our life’s no matter what may come? Who I ask Lord? Who?

The answer comes of course that I do not know, right now, I honestly don’t know, but I do know that You are faithful, that You will provide. There are so many things in life that go on. Things to deal with in the past, things to do in the present, and to be ready to follow the road into the future that I see Your Light, that I see You paving as I faithfully begin to walk on the new, the shaky seeming ground. For I know in my heart that You will reveal the answers to me as You see fit.

-By: Daniel Brockhan