Tired and Disjointed
I am tired of feeling confused
Tired of not letting go
I am tired of moving
Tired of my mind
My spirit going back and forth
Grasping on to things
Doubting myself
Cycling down into that dark hole
I am tired of feeling weak
Though I try to find strength in Christ
I am tired of those friends
The ones who seemed so close
The ones you feel you needed
But for some reason
They decided to let you go
I wish people would mean what they say
And say what they mean
And not be so fickle in life
I am tired of those who say faith is easy
Who act like it is not tough and hard
Who believe serving God
Is about showers of money
And if you have faith
You and your relatives
And friends will see no harm in life
I am tired of being labeled inferior
Because I am young and inexperienced
But even more tired of being labeled something else
Because being labeled single in the church
Means I am unmarried and sadly have no one else
I am tired of feeling like…
I am unaccepted
When I am just being me
Tired of feeling like…
I must conform to some image
The ones others perceive of
Man, Mate, Christian, Minister...
I promise God is still working on me
I am tired of being tired
Tired of being confused
By life, by friends, by family
Even by the potential prospect of love
All seemingly raining down at once on cue
And I sometimes get tired of writing
And of speaking about all of this
If it produces no tangible results
I wish home was one place
A place all my friends would be
My family close nearby
And no one would ever have to leave
I am tired of being confused by life
I wish it would make some sense
But I suppose that is where faith collides
And I suppose that is where we grow
Traveling this journey onward
Until we find and make it to
That place called home...
May the Spirit of God wash over me
May he comfort and make me new
May be grant me a sense of serenity
May new growth come from the storm
New life spring up from the dew
May I never forget this time
of confusion and of growth
May I keep my mind of Christ
And be focused and hold Him close
May I cry to him
In the depths of the night
when I doubt and when it is dark
And then Will I ever praise Him
As the Sun shines bright
When I find that time of comfort and hope.
~ Daniel
