Shadows and Inner Demons

It is in those times
The times at night
Where it is quiet and dark
Where the business of the day
And the communities of others hide
Where they fade to the background...

It is in those times
When those old familiar voices return
They are judgmental and fierce.
They are direct and mean.
They are harsh and cruel.

They tell me...
You are not good enough
You will never amount to anything
You will be single forever...
Who would want you?

You are not extroverted.
You are not handsome.
You are not cute.
You are not attractive.

You are not strong.
You are not bold.
You would cower in the face of danger.
You will never find love.
You do not deserve love.

You will flop in job interviews.
You will second guess yourself and get nervous.
Your hands will sweat.
Your mind will go blank.

You will be left to wander
Never to settle...
With a job, a wife, or a family...
Always roaming
Always uncertain
Never finding home.

No spouse will ever know you.
No job will ever give you a chance.

You are too nice.
You are too kind.
You are too gentle.
You are too sensitive.

You are full of a potential
A potential that may never be realized.

You complain too much
You are too negative
You are too idealistic

This is the way the world works.
Welcome to real life.

Always seeking something else
Never happy with what you have...
Never happy being alone...
Being alone night after night.

Never having anyone to go on vacation with...
Only to use vacation to go see others.

Never able to use money the way I want...
Always burdened with a mound of student debt...

All these thoughts come tumbling...
Come falling
Come raining on me.

I pray to God to wipe them away
To remind me of who he made me to be...
Who he created me to be...
With all my gifts and talents.

God made me loving
God made me to listen...
And to understand others.

God made me with a kind heart
A wise soul
A person ready to commit...
Commit to wherever my heart is leading me.

Sometimes the thoughts keep me up late
Other times these thoughts calm
Fade into the back
Into the blackness of the night
Then I am able to relax
To rest
To sleep.

~ Daniel Brockhan

What are some of your doubts?
What are some of your inner demons?
What thoughts come to you in the dark of the night?

Angel's Descent

The Angel flew as fast as he could, following the sunset in the west, trying to get back before the sun set. He wasn’t going to make it. That was clear. The darkness crept up behind him faster than he could fly. He now realized he was going to have to hide somewhere close. But where? What place would he be safe from the things that come out in the night, in that blackest dark?

He found a cave in one of the mountains and descended down into the darkness. Here he would sleep through the night and hope he was left alone. He began to drift off to sleep and began to dream.

He saw an obscure figure standing outside the cave watching him, waiting. He saw yellow eyes that glowed with evil intent. He began to feel restless and worried. The black figure looked like a young man or boy, wearing some kind of cloak, making his form hard to figure out and perceive next to the already black forest behind him. The Angel could hear his breathing... in and out... Why did he just stand there? What devious plot was about to unfold? The man stood still. The figure said nothing.

Then the cave began to get very cold, so frigid that he began to shake and shiver. Slowly from the opening ice started to form on the ground, but at a rather rapid pace. It crept closer toward the angel as the dark figure stared. The ice was not merely on the ground but above and beside him. He would have been fascinated if he wasn’t so scared. It might have been beautiful if he was not frightened for his life. As the ice began to get to his feet and wings he backed up into the cave, farther into the dark abyss. He saw nothing, saw emptiness. Then behind him he heard a tragic noise, the sound of a pack of wolves howling from deep inside the cave. They must have picked up his scent. He had no where to go, nowhere to run. He was being attacked now from every side.

He slowly pulled out his sword with a long silver edge and a hard teal hilt. He was not going to go down without a fight, even if this was to be his end; it might be there's as well. The ice crept closer, the howling got louder, and the man with the yellow eyes began to move forward. He saw his breathe in the cold air. His tension rose. As the man came closer he drew up his sword and was going into a swing when the ice finally got to his feet and he slipped. All he saw was those eyes move, heard the howling continue, and felt the ice as he fell and hit hard the bottom of the cave floor. The pain was so intense.

The angel awoke with his heart beating fast. Had he lost his sanity? Didn’t he believe God would protect him even in the midst of the darkest and coldest night? Where was his mind? Where was his faith? He was cold now and looked outside and saw a cold blizzard had come through, which he guessed was why he had dreamed of the creeping ice. But what of the figure in the dark cloak with the yellow eyes? What of the howls of the animals wanting to eat and devour him? Oh, how he wished the sun would come up soon. He was very powerful during the day but at night, he could not fly, he had no strength, but he did have his sword and his skills. He made his way deeper into the cave, started a fire for some light and comfort, then pulled out his sword and held it in his strong hands. He grasped it tightly and with confidence, and then began once more to drift off, hopefully until morning.

~ Daniel (done from a creative writing prompt)
pic: http://www.tybro.com/assets/images/Archangel_Michael.jpg