I Still Worship

 I Still Worship

I pick up my guitar
And Begin to play
The strumming sound
My worried heart
Yet I play

I lift my voice
Despite the hurt
My voice cracks
As I begin to cry
As I began to weep
So much worry
So much confusion
Yet I sing

I cease my singing now
But I continue to play
As tears fall down
My hands continue Playing
My heart continues Worshiping
Despite my Confusion
Despite my Pain and Problems
I Play
I Worship

The Hardness of Life does not change You
You are there with me
There alongside me
So I worship unhindered
I worship from that dark place
Finding some light amidst my turmoil

Life may be confusing
May be frustrating
May seem chaotic
Yet I still worship

~ Daniel

Rainy Day

Rainy Day

Well, its cloudy and raining - so when I usually am thinking about going out maybe and it rains... well, I stay in. Sometimes rain is annoying, especially when you do not want to get wet; however, there are times when I am sitting in the quiet of my room and I hear the rain and it brings a peace to me. It makes me feel as if I am once again at home on my bed. I am about 10 years old and taking a nap (or just sitting and watching), sometimes it is raining and sometimes it is sunny when I have these intense feelings and longings for home, for a place where I feel I am accepted, for a place where I know I will not have to go or move in a few months or years. I long for that feeling of home again. I long to keep the peace of that time, of those memories... but then I am jolted back into reality, into making a life for myself and living in random places and meeting random people. I am glad for the friendships I have but none of them feel permanent; none of them ,many times, feel as if they will last beyond a few years. In these times I wish for the past, for its feelings of safety and comfort; and find only in my present feelings of discomfort, fear, and fleetingness.

What does God have for me next? I have no idea. I try to be comfortable where I am abut I just cannot seem to be at ease, to be at peace. Am i supposed to be?... Or is this time a time for me to trust and have faith God, to grow and stretch me to depend on God? I do not know all the answers and I never claim to know. I know God has a plan (which I do feel I am on for now), I just hope that somewhere in my future is something permanent, something comfortable, something that just feels like home - and not like I am some wondering traveler.

Your Peace
I long for your peace God,
show me your peace.
I long for your comfort Lord,
please give me comfort.
I long to feel at home,
let me feel at home in You.
I long to feel at ease,
heal me from my stress.
I long to be more passionate,
help me find boldness and courage.
I long to be ever-closer to You,
give me the strength to persevere.
-A-men

~ Daniel

Let the Thunder Come

Let The Thunder Come

Let the Thunder Come
Let your Words Crash Against Me
God has laid the Foundation
I and my Brothers and Sisters Will not be Moved...
We who have devoted ourself to the Scripture
To God's Love, Grace, Mercy, Law, Justice, Purity, and Holiness...
For Those who do not agree we Pray
For those who do not agree I will not hate
but my duty to my Savior and to my God stands firm...
I was bought with a price
To God I owe

Shall I listen to God or man
Shall I continue in convictions
or shall I change from the pressure of others
from the pressure of man
In the end i will answer to God
that is my concern...
for how i Lived my life
for how I loved my fellow Man
for the glory I have shown to Christ
or the glory I showed to man.

~ Daniel

God Have Mercy

God forgive us for the things we have done
Forgive those we have hurt
Even when it is ourselves

God forgive us for forgetting You
For forgetting You are there with us
Along-side us in our hours of struggle and tears.

Forgive us for not knowing You are there
There in our deepest hours of Pain
Of struggles
Of Sins

Your arms are wide-open
Your voice is gentle-still
Your words heal my heart
Why do I forget you still?

It is so easy
To go on with this life
Forgetting
Ingnoring
Regretting
You and Your place in my Life

Help me to see
Help me to know
Help me to feel
Help me to know!

Help me to see past Satans lies
Help me to know You are near
Help me to Feel your Holy Spirit
Help me to know You care.

Help me to see hope for tommorow
Help me to know Your desires alone
Help me to feel your loving arms
Help me to know I am Home.

~ Daniel

Emptiness

Emptiness fills me,
surrounds me
Penetrates my being.

I am alone
What they call single
What they call not engaged
Not married
Not an adult

In that place between boy and man
In that place between innocent and accountable
In that place I wish not to be
In that place that is hard for me

Its that place,
Its this place where I am
I sit and wait
I ask God questions
Why?
How long?
Where Will I meet her?
What will it be like?

I try to focus on the present
I try to be fine in my singleness
I try to be content with where I am
Yet in my loneliness I cry out to God
Yet in my alone-ness I cry for companionship

How long will life be this way?
How long will i have to wait?
How long until I pass her one day?
How long until me finally meet?
How long until I find my helpmate?
How long until she find me, her help-mate?

What will those days be like?
What will it be like to hold her hand
To give her a hug
To give her that first kiss

What will it be like to serve together?
What will it be like to pray together?
What will it be like not to feel alone?

I don't remember the last time i didn't fee alone,
Outside the circle
Single

Are these thoughts wrong?
Are they in vain?
Are they sins of my mind that distract me from Your good purpose God?

How do I know?
How will I know?

If so, will it ever stop?
Will i ever not feel alone?
Will i ever find lifetime friendships?

Will people ever take me seriously as a man of God?
As a minister if i am single?
Will i ever be considered an adult,
Or only half of one - missing my other half?

I desire to serve You Lord
But i also desire to have a wife someday,
To have a partner in this life,
In this mission,
In Your mission.

To have a family,
to have a ministry,
that gives glorify to your name,
that makes you happy,
that leads others to know you better,
and we grow as well.

Is this desire wrong?
Is this desire right?

Is this love promised to all,
Is it promised to only some?

What am I to do?
Am i to wait or go?

As I grow older I wonder,
I ponder the reality of my life,
As others go by,
As others get married,
Yet I sit alone, and I feel alone

Comfort me during this time,
Help me to follow You.

A-men

By: Daniel Brockhan