Who Do You Say I Am?

Do you see me, do you truly see me?
Or do your eyes deceive you, do they cause you to be blind?

AM I special, AM I a priority?
Do you live your life with me on the sidelines
Do you live your life with me by your side?

Do I consume your every thought
Do I consume any of your thoughts at all?

Where AM I in your life?
Is there room for me in your life
Is there room for me in your heart
Or AM I shoved aside?

Do you yell at me to leave you alone
Do you see me as a ghost haunting you
Do you see me as an angel concerning you
Do you see me as the Spirit speaking ever-gently?

Do you hear my voice?
Are things so loud, too noisy, too busy?
Do you hear silence, nothingness, darkness?

How do you miss my voice
Do you even try to train your ear?

Even sheep recognize the voice of the shepherd…
And yet my voice seems to go unheard so often.

Why is there silence between us
Why is there this rift
Why do you refuse my reaching hand?

Why do you run from my love and grace,
Run instead of learning to stay with me,
Stay with me and learn to trust,
Learn to have joy despite your circumstance?

Why do you not find home with me
Why do you not find peace in me
Why do you think I AM not enough
Why do you seek elsewhere for justification?

Why seek the approval from others,
When I have already approved,
Approved and told you to move forward,
To move forward and Go?

Why do you question me
Why do you look away
Why feel conviction and run,
Why feel conviction and hide,
Why feel conviction and ignore?

I AM Jesus THE Christ!
But who do you say I AM?

Who AM I in your life,
What do your actions and words say?

Who do you say I AM?
-Mark 8:29

~ Daniel

Not Yet

Not Yet - 04/23/2009

I see your grace
I see your beauty
As you move to and fro

When you come around my pulse speeds up
My heart pumps twice as fast
As I try to maintain my composure
When you come around

Your voice is gentle as you speak
I hear whispers of angels
Voice of angels mixed with pure ocean water
Water rushing transparently through my soul

I am walking
Thinking about something
And I hear your voice calling my name
Where is your voice coming from
Searching frantically to find the corner
The corner where you voice meets my ear

Then I spot you,
Spot you and a rush comes over me
A feeling of joy springs forth
As my eyes meet your smile
And my smile meets your eyes

I am summoned forth by your gesture for me to come
Intense inner heat builds as I try to maintain face
This is where the knowing begins
Here in the midst of conversation

A smile
A laugh
The breeze slowly comes and goes

A look
A thought
Is this the beginning of something?
Who knows?

She walks with purity and honor
Respect and grace
She is modest and patient
Yet reciprocates my affection

I am at ease here
There is no pressure
No pressure to be who I am not
No pressure to pretend

I am comfortable here
Yet challenged
I am loved for who I am
Yet encouraged to seek change

I see her as beauty
And am seen as special and unique

I see her as wonder
And am seen as a long interesting read

We make one another curious
What makes the other tick?

We see one another
But the surface is only three feet deep
We begin to know one another
And the depths seem to have no end…

We hold hands in worship
As we lift our hands in praise
As we cry together in prayer

All of this we are
All of this we do

Not yet but hoping
Not yet but praying
Not yet but trusting
Not yet but waiting

Waiting to meet one another
Waiting to see one another
Waiting to know one another

Waiting to know love
Forgetting the past
Living in the present
And committing every day to the future

Not yet but who knows what may come
Not yet but putting doubts aside
Not yet but daily putting preconceived perceptions aside

Not yet
Not yet
But maybe soon...

"Wait for the LORD;
Be strong and take heart
And wait for the LORD." - Psalm 27:14

Your words rush in through my eyes
Striking to my soul
Trusting your provision in all things
Both in patience and perseverance

~ Daniel

Still Nothing

I Pray, I Try, Still Nothing
I Try to Trust, To Have Faith, Still Nothing

Why will You not allow me peace
Why are You leaving me in this Darkness
This Abyss with no hope

I do not understand

I do not want to doubt
But it boils up from inside of me
It burns and drowns my light spirit
And my happiness

What do you want from me?

Haven’t I Cried to you?
Cried on my knees,
Wept as a Child.

Still Nothing...

Tired and Disjointed

Tired and Disjointed

I am tired of feeling confused
Tired of not letting go
I am tired of moving
Tired of my mind
My spirit going back and forth
Grasping on to things
Doubting myself
Cycling down into that dark hole
I am tired of feeling weak
Though I try to find strength in Christ

I am tired of those friends
The ones who seemed so close
The ones you feel you needed
But for some reason
They decided to let you go

I wish people would mean what they say
And say what they mean
And not be so fickle in life

I am tired of those who say faith is easy
Who act like it is not tough and hard
Who believe serving God
Is about showers of money
And if you have faith
You and your relatives
And friends will see no harm in life

I am tired of being labeled inferior
Because I am young and inexperienced
But even more tired of being labeled something else
Because being labeled single in the church
Means I am unmarried and sadly have no one else

I am tired of feeling like…
I am unaccepted
When I am just being me
Tired of feeling like…
I must conform to some image
The ones others perceive of
Man, Mate, Christian, Minister...
I promise God is still working on me

I am tired of being tired
Tired of being confused
By life, by friends, by family
Even by the potential prospect of love
All seemingly raining down at once on cue

And I sometimes get tired of writing
And of speaking about all of this
If it produces no tangible results

I wish home was one place
A place all my friends would be
My family close nearby
And no one would ever have to leave

I am tired of being confused by life
I wish it would make some sense
But I suppose that is where faith collides
And I suppose that is where we grow
Traveling this journey onward
Until we find and make it to
That place called home...

May the Spirit of God wash over me
May he comfort and make me new
May be grant me a sense of serenity
May new growth come from the storm
New life spring up from the dew

May I never forget this time
of confusion and of growth
May I keep my mind of Christ
And be focused and hold Him close

May I cry to him
In the depths of the night
when I doubt and when it is dark
And then Will I ever praise Him
As the Sun shines bright
When I find that time of comfort and hope.

~ Daniel