Things Left Unsaid

You drew a picture, Onto my heart,
Right onto my heart for a moment.
I spoke your sweet name, I got to know you,
I saw your kind heart for a moment.

Things left unsaid, things left behind,

Thoughts and Feelings inside I had to hide.

The truth was strong, My Feelings Deep,

The journey so hard and long sometimes I had to weep.

You were a sweet song, A Loving Melody,
We were in tune for a moment.
A choir Sang, Angels were heard on high,
They spoke your name for a moment.

Things left unsaid, Things left behind,

Thoughts and Feelings inside I couldn't hide.

I told the truth, I took a risk,

All for maybe just one kiss.

You walked away from, From my heart,
I hope only for a moment.
The picture fades, The song then ceased,
Still I got to know you for a moment.

Things left Unsaid, Left you behind,

Had to go away and heal myself inside.

My feelings deep, Those thoughts of you,

Now becoming old what once was so new.

Things left unsaid, Now in the void,
Another time, another one, Empty affections to leave behind.
But hope remains, There's always new,
New pictures and songs to paint with someone new.

You drew a picture, Onto my heart,

Right onto my heart for a moment.

I spoke your sweet name, I got to know you,

I saw your kind heart for a moment.

~ Daniel Brockhan

My Soul Laid Bare? (Edited)

What if I told you the truth? What if I typed all of my truest feelings and deepest thoughts? What if I really let you in, behind the surface veil of my life? Would it make us connect deeper or would you run further away?

What if what I typed wasn’t all roses? What if what I posted wasn’t all about smiles and past-times, but about hardship and suffering? What if that suffering produced growth and was an integral part of my story? Would you still read? Would you still listen?

Would you read with me?
Would you walk with me?

Would you grief with me?
Would you rejoice with me?

Would you walk alongside me in this journey,
As I try my best to walk alongside you in yours?

Would you care about my thoughts regarding loneliness?

Would you listen to me express how I miss everyone and everything I ever knew?
Would you listen to me build up my life from a new foundation?

Would you read about how life can feel repetitive?
When you live alone, life can seem the same, week by week, day by day.

Silence can fill up your space.
You sometimes find yourself grasping at air.

Would you listen if I told you that despite all of these things,
This time has been my biggest growth and achievement personally and spiritually?

Would you like to hear how God has been changing my heart,
And mind since the day I moved,
That being alone has made me depend on God on a far deeper level?

Would you like to hear about the new riches of that relationship,
Discovery though hardship?

Would you care to read?
Would it pierce you?

If I bared my soul to you,
Would it matter?

Would it merely be another blog entry?
Would it merely be a form of entertainment for your eyes?
Would it merely be a form of isolation or bring connectedness?

Only time will tell…
When I bare my soul.

However, for now,
My musings are my own.

~ Daniel Brockhan

What If I Told You?

To No One Particularly,

What if I told you how I felt?
What if I told you all the hidden things?

What if I told you?
Would you run away?

Would you accept my vulnerability?
Would you be honest with me?

Would things be awkward?
Would you flee?

Would you tell me we can still be friends?
Would you tell me this is the beginning or is this the end?

How would I know the truth,
If What I felt for you,
Is what you also felt for me too?

How would I know if I never took the risk,
Never took the chance,
Never let those feelings out,
But instead kept the inside,
Held them back?

Why would I change things between us?
Why would I risk our friendship?
Why would I make things complicated?

What if I told you I think you are worth the risk?
What if I laid myself bare and told you how I felt?

~ Daniel Brockhan

Shadows and Inner Demons

It is in those times
The times at night
Where it is quiet and dark
Where the business of the day
And the communities of others hide
Where they fade to the background...

It is in those times
When those old familiar voices return
They are judgmental and fierce.
They are direct and mean.
They are harsh and cruel.

They tell me...
You are not good enough
You will never amount to anything
You will be single forever...
Who would want you?

You are not extroverted.
You are not handsome.
You are not cute.
You are not attractive.

You are not strong.
You are not bold.
You would cower in the face of danger.
You will never find love.
You do not deserve love.

You will flop in job interviews.
You will second guess yourself and get nervous.
Your hands will sweat.
Your mind will go blank.

You will be left to wander
Never to settle...
With a job, a wife, or a family...
Always roaming
Always uncertain
Never finding home.

No spouse will ever know you.
No job will ever give you a chance.

You are too nice.
You are too kind.
You are too gentle.
You are too sensitive.

You are full of a potential
A potential that may never be realized.

You complain too much
You are too negative
You are too idealistic

This is the way the world works.
Welcome to real life.

Always seeking something else
Never happy with what you have...
Never happy being alone...
Being alone night after night.

Never having anyone to go on vacation with...
Only to use vacation to go see others.

Never able to use money the way I want...
Always burdened with a mound of student debt...

All these thoughts come tumbling...
Come falling
Come raining on me.

I pray to God to wipe them away
To remind me of who he made me to be...
Who he created me to be...
With all my gifts and talents.

God made me loving
God made me to listen...
And to understand others.

God made me with a kind heart
A wise soul
A person ready to commit...
Commit to wherever my heart is leading me.

Sometimes the thoughts keep me up late
Other times these thoughts calm
Fade into the back
Into the blackness of the night
Then I am able to relax
To rest
To sleep.

~ Daniel Brockhan

What are some of your doubts?
What are some of your inner demons?
What thoughts come to you in the dark of the night?